Dialing the rotary phone, fanning the fur, diddling the daisy, paddling the pink canoe, or participating in a manage-a-moi, female masturbation has quite a few metaphors for an activity that is still largely whispered about publicly.
And that’s an odd thing. Vulgar expressions for male masturbation abound popular culture, form TV shows to music, whereas the female equivalent hardly gets a mention, although stars like Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion are clearly changing that.
In fact, in recent years, more and more prominent women are publicly sharing their views on strong female sexuality, which often includes promoting the normalization and elevation of female masturbation.
This inequality in just the open discussion of masturbation between genders is stunning given the year and how far we “think” we’ve progressed as a culture.
In addition to not talking about it as much, female masturbation is also, and perhaps partly due to the “though shall not speak of it-ness” there is a good amount of confusion surrounding this perfectly natural biological function.
So, is there a difference between female masturbation and male masturbation in terms of what is considered “normal” or “healthy”?
Let’s set one thing clear: masturbation, regardless of gender, is a perfectly natural and healthy activity so long as it isn’t detracting from other critical life responsibilities like work, friendship, etc.
So, at no point should you be embarrassed, ashamed, self-conscious, nervous, or insecure about giving your body some much-needed self-love.
To full maximize the benefits of masturbation though, there are a few things we need to understand as a team. These include understanding and “overcumming” (pun intended) various potential obstacles, both mental and physical, in effort to maximize all that female masturbation has to offer.
Stigma Busting for Piece of Mind
The first thing, for both men and women, that is necessary for being able to maximize the return of a masturbatory session is to get in the right state of mind.
Just like a politician before a big debate, or a professional athlete before a big game, or a professional musician before a solo concert, it’s important to get in the correct frame of mind because that is the first step in creating a rewarding, positive experience.
We’re not trying to make you nervous. Unlike the above examples you theoretically won’t have an audience, and if you do have an audience (because there’s nothing wrong with a woman leveraging her body security to make some extra income) that’s perfectly fine as well, the point is you can’t just drop everything to masturbate on a whim and expect it to bring about any life shattering orgasms.
Setting a routine, which could include music, candles, a special day of the week or time of the day, whatever it is, getting in the correct “mood” that allows oneself to detach from the daily stresses of life and cultural stigmas around masturbation is key to allowing your body to fully relax and make the most of your solo session.
Statistics on Female Masturbation
Finding accurate statistics on female masturbation is not an easy job. First, it seems many women are reluctant to talk publicly about their self-love, although this is becoming less and less of a stigma as time progresses.
Second, because it’s still mildly taboo, there aren’t a lot of reputable companies regularly trying to conduct such challenging surveys.
After hours of exhaustive research we found a few relevant statistics on how women are masturbating today.
46% of Women Masturbate Less Than Once Per MonthStasista.com
This is probably the biggest and most shocking statistic. Compared to how frequently men claim to masturbate, 46% of women giving themselves self-love fewer than 1 time a month and 12.2% not having ANY self-love in over a year is far too high of a number.
We get it, everyone has different levels and types of sexuality and there is no “perfect” frequency for female masturbation.
But it SHOULD be happening because it’s a natural biological function. There is no reason men should be masturbating more than women and this “masturbation gap” is just one more glass ceiling women have to smash.
An fMRI scanner documented how the brain responds to genital stimulation leading up to and culminating in orgasm. It was found that when you experience sexual pleasure many areas of the brain actually receive more oxygen.Nan Wise, Ph.D
Dr. Wise goes on to explain that sufficient oxygen flow to the brain is critical for healthy daily function especially since “oxygen helps regulate the regions of the brain responsible for sensation, movement, cognition, reward, and hormone production”.
Promoting healthy blood flow, healthy cardiovascular function (if you aren’t breathing like you’ve spent 15 minutes on an treadmill by the time you orgasm it may be worth expanding your “accessory” collection) and general mental well being makes masturbation not only not bad, it makes it essential!
A little less than three-quarters of respondents said they considered masturbating a form of self-careTenga 2019 Self-Pleasure Poll
This one is the one that bothered us most in researching this article. It indicated there is are still a significant amount of women out there that still either view masturbation as a utilitarian biological function or even worse, are ashamed of it altogether.
Whether it’s once a year, once a month, once a week, or once a day, all women should feel proud, confident, sexy, responsible, free, and at peace before, during and especially after they masturbate.
If you already masturbate frequently and are loud and proud about it (ok, maybe not loud) then you go girl! Keep up the good work!
However, if you’re currently being held back, either emotionally or psychologically from giving your body the self-care it deserves then we implore you to take a moment to take a few deep breaths and really ask yourself if this is how you want your life to go.
When you are on your death bed do you want to be thinking “geez I really should have just LIVED life a little more!” do you?
Solo masturbation, with or without toys, mutual masturbation, or even no-touch mental stimulation via a steamy erotic novel are all acceptable menu items for a long night of self-care.
If you’re looking to take your self-love to the next level or just want some variety in your intimate time check out our totally hot but totally practical guide to bedroom sex toys to spark some ideas!
Women who masturbate are more calm, more secure with themselves, and generally just more relaxed compared to women who want to but don’t allow themselves to opportunity to self-stimulate on a regular schedule.
Now, there are obvious caveats. All humans are different and as with all forms of healthy living and self-care there are some women who just do not derive pleasure from masturbation, either because of negative experiences in the past or just their psychological disposition.
While we do encourage everyone who claims to not enjoy masturbation to seriously give it deep thought to make sure it isn’t masturbation they don’t enjoy and it isn’t something else that’s holding them back.
Speaking with a sex therapist or psychologist is the smartest way to just verify that you are indeed feeling the way you do based off rational preference and not some other barrier that with therapy might be able to be lowered down slowly over time, allowing you to become a different version of yourself.
So, whether it’s two fingers or a vibrator, we salute you sexy confident women who are regularly taking the time to put their phone down, zone out from a world of emails and decision making, and just take time and pleasure in exploring more of themselves and their intimate identities.