Is Using Porn Cheating? Yes and No

couple arguement

Pornagraphy and relationships are not always something that go well together. Some couples are OK with their partners watching it and some couples even watch together. But, for others porn is completely verboten.

So, whether or not using porn should be considered cheated is not a black and white answer. It depends on a couple of aspects of each particular relationship.

As in many circumstances the devil is in the details.

Setting Boundaries

Before someone can start pointing a finger at their partner accusing them of cheating you need to define a couple of boundaries. First, it’s very important for both people in a relationship to know exactly what type of relationship they are in.

Is it 100% monogamous? Are they in some type of open relationship? Are the people in the relationship even on the same page?

Here are a few steps to help define boundaries and establish a porn policy within your relationship.

Agree on Your Status

It’s not fair to your partner to make assumptions on your relationship status. You may think you are in a mutual relationship but they might not feel the same way. A lot of sour feelings can develop when you are not on the same page.

in bed

Having a small conversation just to ensure you both have the same expectations is important. Once you both know what each other expect you can act and plan accordingly, and that means whether or not watching porn alone is acceptable and if so what type of porn is OK.

Define Pornography

You cannot expect someone to read your mind. Defining what you feel is and is not pornography will help you and your partner agree on what is acceptable and what you two consider cheating. After all there are many different types of porn.

For example, there is solo nudity and there is hardcore penetrative porn. There are static images and there are webcam streamers. And of course there is sexting with other non-professionals, which most people in any form of monogamous relationship would absolutely consider cheating.

At the end of the day it’s impossible to establish any kind of shared understanding without first defining the very thing you are discussing.

Establish Expectations

Once you and your significant other have agreed on the type of relationship you are in you can move forward. If it’s entirely open then no one can cheat because you are free to do what you want when you want. So, your opinion on whether your sex partner wants to watch porn or not doesn’t really matter.

If you are in a more monogamous-type relationship then porn might be something you need to set some boundaries on. But, it’s important to come to a mutual agreement and not have one party simply dictate their beliefs to the other. A healthy relationship demands communication and compromise.

Some examples of what a couple may settle on is porn is OK if they watch together, but zero porn outside of that no matter the type. Or, maybe they don’t mind if one another enjoys some free video porn that’s found on some of the larger websites but they don’t want their partner watching or chatting with webcam girls or guys.

The idea is that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It comes down to talking with your partner and coming up with a porn policy that works for both of you.

Wrap It

So, after all of that, is using porn cheating? As you can see it really depends on what each couple decides is OK within their own relationship. For some couples there may be a green light on all types of porn but for others they may have very strict rules in place.

If you then proceed to break those rules it most certainly should be considered cheating. It’s no different then agreeing to not be intimate with another person to then go ahead and do so behind your partner’s back. A promise is a promise and trust is important.

Plus, as an adult you should have the wherewithal to check with your partner before you do something you aren’t sure they would be OK with. When it comes to cheating, if you feel like your partner would be upset with a particular action it’s always a good idea to err on the safe side. And, with porn you can always ask as in most instances it’s not something happening in the spur of the moment.

A couple’s porn policy can be fluid as well. If you notice problems with the agreement you made as time passes, you might want to revisit it in a cool collected manner and without attacks and accusations.

With all of that being said, whatever you are your partner decide on is for you and only you two to determine. It’s personal and private and others’ beliefs should not dictate what you are comfortable with.