Is Swinging the Right Lifestyle Choice for You?

two couples

It’s very natural for a couple to find themselves in a rut. Their daily lives start to take on a set routine and that also translates to the bedroom. After awhile they may start to feel bored with their sex lives.

But, at the same time they know they still love one another. They don’t want to break up. They don’t want to get emotionally involved with others.

Enter: Swinging

What is Swinging?

Swinging is a sexual lifestyle choice that is much more open than your traditional monogamous relationship. It’s important however to not get it confused with an open relationship where emotional connections often form and there is the potential for more than just sex, such as dating and long-term bonding.

In a way, swinging is one very specific subset of the many various open relationship scenarios.

Swingers have an agreement with their SO. They are both in agreement that they are allowed to explore and engage in sexual activities with others. Sometimes they do so together and sometimes they do so on their own. But, the time spent with another begins and ends and ends at carnal pleasure.

couple kissing

That is why swinging is often referred to as wife-swapping or husband-swapping though you don’t have to be married to be a swinging couple. The idea is that after a temporary experience and having their physical needs met, everyone goes back to their partner and to a stronger relationship.

Swingers often meet other couples in the lifestyle online or at swinger clubs. With some research you might even find special swingers’ parties.

A Truly Alternative Lifestyle

Swinging is absolutely not the right choice for everyone. It’s referred to as the alternative lifestyle for a reason.

One of the quickest ways to decide if it’s a way of life that you and your SO would be comfortable with is to understand that if either of you fall into one or more of the following categories. If you do then you may want to reconsider as swinging probably isn’t for you:

  • You are a jealous person
  • You form emotional bonds very quickly and easily
  • You have a problem respecting boundaries
  • Your relationship is already on the rocks
  • You have a high profile career
  • You’re considering swinging only to appease your SO

Let us take a bit of a deeper look as to why each of these could be a problem.

You are a jealous person – There is zero room for jealousy in the swing lifestyle. Your partner will be having sex with other people. If you or they get jealous over a little playful flirting, don’t even think about moving forward with this plan.

You form emotional bonds fast – Swinging is about sexual gratification. There are emotional elements as well, such as feeling more confident. But, if you or your partner latch on to others quickly, this isn’t for you.

You don’t always respect boundaries – Swinging has its own ruleset and respecting those rules is of utmost importance. If you or your partner tend to attempt to flout rules or boundaries, do not proceed.

You are in an unstable relationship – Having sex with other people will not fix major problems in your relationship. Swinging requires a solid foundation to go smoothly.

You’re in the public eye – This should be obvious but if your job requires maintaining a certain public image then understand there is significant risk by entering the world of swinging.

You are only trying it for someone else – While there are some single swings, almost always female, you should only proceed if you and your partner are into the idea of the lifestyle. If you are only thinking about it because they want to try even though you don’t, you may need to reexamine your relationship first.

Layers to the Game

As with most aspects of life, there are layers to swinging. It’s not a one-size-fits-all lifestyle.

For example, some couples prefer to always stay in the same room while swapping partners. They enjoy witnessing their partner’s pleasure and they feel safer if they are always together.
Other couples splinter off and spend time alone with their short-time partner. This is actually much more common than the above scenario.

couple in robes

But, that isn’t all. It’s not unheard of for swingers to join in group sex or orgies. Sometimes this is referred to as hard swinging.

Some swingers even prefer to keep their sexual encounters very vanilla and only partake in manual or oral stimulation.

The point is there are a variety of different scenarios to accommodate all comfort levels.

We Don’t Want to Cheat

It is important to understand that swinging is something that both parties of a relationship should agree on. It requires trust, transparency and communication.

And, since there is an agreement in place swinging is not cheating. No one is sneaking around behind the other’s back having sexual or emotional relationships in secret.

There is no deceit. If done correctly there should be no hurt feelings. Most of all there is not betrayal or breach of trust.

It’s not cheating, it’s an alternative lifestyle agreed upon by those in the relationship.

Wrap It

Swinging or living the alternative lifestyle is alive and well. And, many couples you know may actually be partaking in the physical pleasures of such a lifestyle without you ever suspecting it.

Deciding if it’s the right choice for you and your partner is a personal decision that only the two of you can make. But, understanding what you are getting into is paramount to ensure you have a pleasant or many pleasant experiences.

You should also know that it’s not a choice you have to stick with forever. You can dip your toes into the water and experiment with some light or soft swinging first to see if it’s for you. If not, then go back to how things were before.

You may even want to try a different approach to breaking up your bedroom routine, such as introducing different sex toys.

Either way, if you are open and honest with your partner and maintain good communication, you are sure to find a way to rekindle your lust.